Time to read
Although I think my story is quite unique in a way, I also think others might be able to have some kind of affinity with it. So it is my hope that I can help people by telling it. Even though I have gone through some very tough times, I want to show people that it is possible to turn your life around, like I have.
My name is Alfredo, and I was born to a single mother in South America in 1987. My mum put me into an orphanage as soon as I was born, and I was adopted by my second family, and brought to the UK, to a home in the North East of England.
My second mum was a special needs teacher, so she realised early on that I was autistic. By the time I reached my teens I was becoming unmanageable, so I ended up in a children’s home and running wild.
I would take drugs like ecstasy and go out partying. In a gay bar that I worked in, there was a kind man who would often come in. He could see I was struggling, and took me under his wing, becoming my third “dad”.
Although he gave me stability, I was sexually and physically abused by another member of my new family, and ended up using heroin to numb my pain.
Despite my addiction, I forged a successful career as a manager at an airline. I was living in London, holding down a really responsible job, getting promotions. I felt like the heroin helped me become more calm – it made me feel more like a normal human being. But I hadn’t told my employers that I was autistic, and I was hiding my addiction too. It was difficult for me because I was lying about who I was.
And then later on, crystal meth came in – I was using the meth to stay awake, and heroin to get to sleep at night. I was injecting every day and sharing needles.
When I got my HIV diagnosis, my third dad was the first person around. He had lost friends and former partners to AIDS in the 1980s, in the crisis, so it was hard for me to tell him, but I knew I had to, and that he would understand. At that time I was very unwell – the doctor that treated me said he had never seen anybody as sick as me.
So I left London and returned up North to live with my dad. And we both looked after each other. With him there to support me, I went through rehab and got myself on effective HIV treatment. I’m so grateful that I am able to get effective treatment and medicine here in the UK. I realise that I would not have had that option if I hadn’t come to England as a refugee. I have been given a second act in life and my viral load is now undetectable thanks to the treatment I have received.
Sadly Dad passed away recently with cancer, having lived with dementia in his later years.
And now despite my sadness at having lost him, I am looking towards my future, and working towards a new career: I am studying to be a lawyer. I’m in the third year of my Bachelor of Law degree. I think it’s important that my story is told, because other people have probably been through the same as me. If I can make one person think: oh, I can relate to what he has gone through, and maybe I should go and get a test, so that I can receive the right treatment, then that is what I want.