“Sharing my HIV status and drag journey has been very validating”

HIV diagnosis: living without shame

I’ve never really felt any shame about my HIV status. When I got diagnosed, I’d been poorly for so long. I finally went to a sexual health clinic. They looked at my symptoms and said they needed to do a rapid HIV test. The test came back as positive, and I got my formal HIV diagnosis that week. For me, because I had been unwell for so long and not been able to put a name to it, my diagnosis was a relief, more than anything.

It wasn’t until I went to get a tattoo, I first felt any shame.

I went to a tattoo studio, where I was open about being LGBT+ and with my HIV status. They said there was no one in the studio who was comfortable tattooing me.

I gave them facts and education about HIV to assure them that people with HIV can safely get tattoos. They still said no, even though it is illegal to refuse or unreasonably change a service for someone living with HIV.

That was the first time I ever felt bad about my status. I’ve luckily never come across that situation again, and that tattoo studio that refused to tattoo me didn’t survive COVID – for me that’s karma! I’ve now got a really wonderful tattoo artist who has great education and awareness around HIV.

But after my experience of discrimination, I started seeing online that other people had also been discriminated against because of their HIV status. Campaigning for policy changes and awareness of HIV is something that has become very close to my heart. I love the work that National AIDS Trust does fighting for HIV rights, and ensuring people can live free from stigma and discrimination.

Fundraising for National AIDS Trust

I decided to fundraise for National AIDS Trust on World AIDS Day. I thought what can I do that will get everyone’s attention and do something that’s not been done before? I settled on walking a whole lap of Portsmouth in full drag and ended the day with a cabaret show.

What I didn’t realise on the day was HMS Prince of Wales was visiting, as Portsmouth is a naval town. As we were walking along the seafront, thousands of people were lined up coming to watch the boat come in. I thought they might have all been there for me – but one of my friends confirmed they were there for the boat!

After the walk we did a cabaret show at The Fawcett Inn, a lovely pub owned by a lesbian couple. It was filled with a whole range of people: people I’ve known over the years from performing, people who come to different shows, people I’d never met before. I had friends and family there. My two younger nephews got to see me perform for the first time which was amazing.

The whole atmosphere was just electric. I was presented with flowers on stage and I just started crying. It still has completely astounded me that the combined fundraising efforts raised over £1000; tripling the initial goal. When I think back to that night, it gets me emotional – it was just an incredible experience.

Drag journey

On the day, I was also interviewed by Gaby Roslin for her radio show which definitely added to the excitement of the walk and fundraising! She called me a second time and surprised me with La Voix – a drag queen I absolutely love. When we spoke everything inside of me just wanted to scream with excitement. To be able to have that conversation with her whilst doing something that meant so much to me – I was just so grateful to be able to have that experience. She now also follows me on Instagram which is such a highlight for me in my drag journey!

My first ever drag show was February 2023. I worked in an LGBTQ+ bar where they wanted to host a drag competition. A couple of people dropped out and they asked me to fill in for one night. I didn’t think I was going to do very well – I’ve got no performance background whatsoever. I don’t really know how but I won the heat and got through to the finals!

My drag journey has snowballed since then and it’s how crazy how it has developed over the last couple of years. I’ve performed at Portsmouth Pride, performed in the OVO offices in Bristol and Glasgow, and hosted brunches for them.

I’ve auditioned and been successful in the We Thrive Portsmouth creates initiative, where I’ve been awarded a grant for my drag and given two mentors. One of them is another drag performer Aura Jay and the other is Julianne, the CEO of Southampton Pride.

I didn’t think I’d win that first heat of my first ever drag competition, let alone be on a mentorship program and get to travel across the country. Now when I’m in drag and I’ve got my heels, it’s just something that can’t be rivalled.

Being able to speak about my experience of HIV and my drag journey so far has been very validating.

If my story helps even one person living with HIV it will be worth it. It cements for me that I know what I’m doing is right.

Find out more about AID-Y’s drag on Instagram.